


Tea and Tears

by dwarrowdams



Series: Eadgyd, But Not Sad [5]
Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: (I mean like...basically), Gen, Healing, Therapy, in which Lottie is actually The Sweetest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:40:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26502295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dwarrowdams/pseuds/dwarrowdams
Summary: Lottie Lavina Littlefoot, a Hobbit master healer and one of Eadgyd's traveling companions, pays Eadgyd a visit at her farmstead in Dale.  Set in a Fellowship Phase between "Honey-Cakes" and "Cassia's Comfort."
Series: Eadgyd, But Not Sad [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1877335
Kudos: 1
Collections: All the Eadgyd All the Time





	Tea and Tears

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really glad that Lottie is the first other companion who gets more than a passing mention in my fic. Technically, she is a Hobbit Scholar on the Master Healer path, but I usually refer to her as a Hobbit therapist (which tbh is...not incorrect, although I now realize that perhaps "Hobbit psychiatrist" is more accurate).
> 
> Many thanks to Bird, one of my fellow players, for trusting me to write about their character.

The knock on the door startled Eadgyd slightly. She hadn’t been expecting anyone, but perhaps it was Frida. While Eadgyd appreciated the visits from her youngest sister—and the fact that she often oversaw the management of the farmstead in Eadgyd’s absence—she did wish that Frida would give some sort of warning when she visited.

Eadgyd stood and walked to the door, ready to lecture Frida about taking advantage of hospitality, but was surprised to find that her sister was not the one who’d come calling.

It was Lottie Lavina Littlefoot, her golden hair shining in the afternoon sunlight, as she grinned up at Eadgyd.

“Lottie?” Eadgyd said, self-consciously tucking some stray strands of hair behind her ear. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, I’m sorry—is now a bad time?” she asked, already backing down the front walk.

“No, of course not,” Eadgyd said. “I was just surprised to see you. Come in.”

Lottie followed her inside, gazing around the small house in awe. Eadgyd hoped that the young Hobbit wasn’t too judgmental of the clutter that covered her table—she’d been doing sums to figure out when she might be able to afford another goat, so it was a proper mess.

“I would’ve cleaned a bit if I’d known you were coming today,” Eadgyd said half to herself, pushing some of the papers into a stack on the table.

Lottie waved the comment away. “I don’t mind,” she said. 

“Good,” Eadgyd murmured before addressing Lottie directly. “I’m going to make some tea. Would you like any?"

Lottie’s eyes lit up. “Tea sounds lovely!” she replied.

Eadgyd nodded. “Sit wherever you’d like,” she said. “I’ll be there in just a moment.”

She busied herself preparing the tea, setting the tea leaves, honey, and mugs on the table as the water heated. Once it was ready, she filled up both mugs and sat down beside Lottie.

“There you are,” she said as she nudged the smaller mug towards the Hobbit. “Now what brings you here?”

Lottie fidgeted with the buttons of her coat with one hand as she used the other to steep her tea. “I know you’ve seen a lot in your time and I was just wondering if you’d like to talk about it? I’ve learned how to help ease wounds of the mind, so if you want to talk about anything that’s been weighing on you, I’m here.”

Eadgyd blinked in surprise. She’d grown accustomed to questions about her arm and inquiries as to why she’d taken the moniker “the Sad,” but she had rarely had anyone ask about her own feelings.

“Yes, of course,” she said. “Thank you for asking rather than assuming I wish to talk—it does get exhausting reliving one’s most painful moments.”

Lottie nodded vigorously as she reached for the honey, stirring some into her tea.

Eadgyd reached for the honey once she was done, stirring it in as she pondered Lottie’s offer. On one hand, the idea of unburdening herself somewhat sounded like a relief. On the other, she didn’t want to pass her troubles along to Lottie. She was still so young and although Eadgyd suspected she’d seen more than most her age, she didn’t want to reveal her anger and sorrow to this young woman who was essentially sunlight personified.

“You came all the way here to hear about my darkest moments?” Eadgyd asked.

“If it’ll help, then yes,” Lottie replied. “I just...I know I can’t undo the things that’ve happened to you, but sometimes I see how sad it makes you and I want to do what I can to ease that a bit.”

Eadgyd chewed her bottom lip as she steeped her tea. She tried to keep her troubles private, but there was only so much that one could hide from one’s traveling companions. Perhaps it would be better to talk with Lottie—after all, if her silence was causing Lottie worry, it was doing the exact opposite of what Eadgyd had hoped it would.

“All right,” she said. “I suppose it’s no use holding it all in.”

Lottie smiled up at her. “It certainly isn’t,” she replied.

Eadgyd nodded. “Do you mind if I talk about my brother?” she asked. “It’s easier to start there.”

“Start wherever you like,” Lottie said, stirring her tea and setting her gaze on Eadgyd.

Eadgyd began to talk about Eadgar: how the two of them had been inseparable growing up, how they both wanted to follow in their father’s footsteps and become fierce warriors, how neither of them had interest in romance, and how they’d both planned to fight side by side until they were too old to do so. She found that some of the old stories still made her laugh, while others brought her to tears in the wake of Eadgar’s death. Lottie listened attentively, nodding and asking questions when relevant, and reached over to take Eadgyd’s hand when she spoke of Eadgar’s death.

“That must’ve hurt a lot, then, since you were so close,” Lottie said gently.

Eadgyd nodded, not trusting herself to speak. There were few who understood just how close she and Eadgar had been, but Lottie saw it with a clarity that left Eadgyd feeling exposed. Knowing how much Eadgar meant to her was the key to unlocking all of the darkness hidden in the depths of Eadgyd’s mind: a key that no one outside of her family had possessed before now.

“It did,” she said, her voice cracking. “I...he...I’m not sure if I can say anything else now.”

“That’s fine,” Lottie said. “Take your time.”

“All right,” Eadgyd replied, wiping her eyes. “In that case, I’m going out to pick some vegetables for dinner. You can come along and pick what you’d like to eat, go out and say hello to the animals, or make yourself at home here.”

“Animals?” Lottie said, her eyes alight. “What kinds?”

“A goat and some chickens,” Eadgyd said. “I’ll go with you—the chickens can get cranky sometimes and I’d rather not have them peck you.”

Lottie giggled. “As long as they don’t peck me, that sounds lovely.”

* * *

Lottie and Eadgyd managed to avoid the wrath of the chickens, who were more curious about their new visitor than anything. The two women talked amicably while preparing dinner and chatted on and off while eating.

It wasn’t until they were sitting in Eadgyd’s most comfortable chairs eating honey cakes that Eadgyd spoke of her brother again.

“It’s not just that he’s gone,” she said. “It’s that every time I travel with our companions, I can’t help but think about what he might’ve said or done were he here, and it serves only to make me feel more alone. We’d face every danger together, even when we were frightened, and having him by my side made even the worst horrors seem like something we could conquer. Now that I have to face them alone, it’s all so much more frightening: more so than I wish to say.”

Lottie nodded sympathetically, gesturing for Eadgyd to go on.

“That’s why I’ve not gotten close to anyone else,” she admitted. “It took nearly thirty years to build the trust I had with him, and the idea of starting over now, when I’m filled with so much pain, is exhausting. I already had to learn how to move through the world with only one arm, and now I must do the same with my brother.”

Eadgyd paused, taking a deep breath to steady herself before she continued. “It doesn’t help that people expect me to replace him because I cannot. Twas hard enough learning to simply live without the brother who’d been beside me since his birth—I could never seek out anyone to take his place.”

Lottie hummed in agreement, her wide green eyes fixed on Eadgyd. “You’re right—he can’t be replaced,” she said. “And you’d be wrong to try. But the longer you spend hiding your feelings from everyone else, the harder it becomes to find someone who’d understand you. In fact, I know at least three other people who want to.”

Eadgyd’s brow furrowed as she tried to discern who these people might be before realizing that Lottie must be referring to Holma, Hanar, and Dyri. While she thought of them all as dear friends, she’d never expected them to see her as anything but a broken woman who could swing an axe well.

“They do?” she said tearfully. 

“Of course they do,” Lottie replied. “Why else would they trust you to adventure with them?”

“Because I have a large axe and a metal arm?”

Lottie sighed in mock exasperation. “Yes, but that’s not what makes you good company. It’s the way you look out for others and remind them that their mistakes don’t mean the end of the world. You remind us all that sometimes we just need to be gentle with ourselves and with others rather than passing the harshest judgement.”

Eadgyd didn’t bother wiping her tears away anymore—it was clearly a useless endeavor. “Lottie, you’re being too nice,” she said.

The Hobbit shook her head. “You just haven’t been nice enough to yourself,” she said.

That statement broke the dam that had been restraining Eadgyd’s feelings all along. She drew her knees up to her chest, lowered her head, and sobbed as she hadn’t in years, not caring that Lottie was there to see it all.

She looked up when she felt a gentle tap on her arm and saw Lottie standing beside her. “Oh Eadgyd,” she said. “Can I hug you?”

Eadgyd nodded, not bothering to hold back her sobs as she embraced the young Hobbit. “Thank you, Lottie,” she said through her tears.

“Of course,” Lottie murmured into Eadgyd’s shoulder, squeezing her tightly. “Thank you for letting me help.”

**Author's Note:**

> I cried a little writing this, but in the good way because it reminded me of therapy sessions that were emotional but really cleansing (and also because Lottie is just the sweetest).
> 
> I've been working a lot on the Eadgar Lives AU (and curbing my urge to just post everything I have written as soon as it's done), but I have a bunch of half-finished pieces for this series that will probably show up as I figure out how Eadgar's presence changes various parts of campaign. (One of them is the topless blacksmithing—I swear I'm not just dangling that over you like a carrot, but also it's hard to write because 70% of my brain just starts screaming "TOPLESS LADIES BLACKSMITHING!" and not a lot of actual writing happens.)
> 
> Please comment if you enjoyed!
> 
> Tumblr: dwarrowdams  
> Twitter: @_tenderqueer


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